One Week on the Megabus.
Vic's Birthday 2018.
I set off this morning at 1.45 am. The Megabus up to Glasgow goes from the centre of Manchester at 5 am but there was no buses running that early from my house into the centre, so I decided I would start the whole trip off by walking the 7 miles in the middle of the night. The idea for this week off work is to have no phone the whole time, but the idea of having no music scared me. So I loaded up an old iPhone with music. It can't do anything but serve as an MP3 player. I listened to Harv's new collection but then realised I needed to be rid of even the headphones to try to take my mind back to an earlier state of being.
After walking with the silence a while, there was a dead black cat in my path. I jumped when I realised what it was. I said fuck out loud a few times and for some reason put my hands to my chest. It must of just died. No blood at all though. It looked like it was just sleeping. I couldn't pick it up. It scares me, the idea of the flesh still warm under its fur. It got me thinking about superstition. I've given up worrying about that these last few years. Mainly for 2 reasons. The first being what I told Vic recently, to see a singular magpie is considered lucky in some parts of the world. The second reason is that, every time in my life recently when I've seen a superstitious bad omen it has lead to interesting things happening. The time I walked through Newcastle to meet Med, I kept seeing single magpies. Then that night I set my leg on fire. I now look back at that whole couple of months as one of the most interesting things to have happened to me in the last 5 years.
I bought a burger on the way to the coach this morning. A 24 hour McDonalds. In there about 3 am. The burger was ridiculous. It slipped out the bun as I tried to eat it. Everything did. Like tectonic plates shifting between my hands. All matter transforming as I struggle to retain any decorum involved with walking whilst eating. The only people I was passing were homeless people sleeping rough. I counted 18 of them from the McDonalds on Oxford Road to Shudehill bus station. I counted 3 rats too. I feel like Grandma. She counts how many steps she walks up wherever she goes. Then she used to test the boys on it. See if they'd counted. I don't know if she tests them anymore. Strange the things I'm doing now I've turned my music off. Counting things.
I got on the MegaBus to Glasgow. 4 Hours 20 minutes. I was glad of it being so warm. I fell straight asleep. I hadn't slept the night before. I'd taken half a tab of acid as Harv had sent me through his music. I thought it would be suitable for the first listen. The acid didn't seem to do much except for give me such bad shits and keep me awake all night. No sleep at all. I wanted hallucinations. Dan says I'd probably have to take a whole one for that. I'd bought the acid for this weeks journey. I love waking up on a moving vehicle. Especially around sunrise. I did that just as we were passing Carlisle. Beautiful. The first morning light shining through the clouds. I arrive about 10 am to a very cloudy grey Glasgow.
I've about 10 hours to kill before meeting up with Alex. So I just started walking. I wondered what I was doing a bit. It annoys me that I thought I could construct interesting ideas but then by the time I'm sat with pen and paper I never seem to be able to put them into words. I walked up to near where I lived recently, followed the Clyde a while and then ended up in the Morrisons cafe in Partick. I've got a coffee thats so cold I might just have to down it. I feel I should go on the hunt for a book by Carl Jung. I am near to the Oxfam book shop in the West End. To there I go.
They had no Jung so I got Ulysses. I've come to the library and started it. I'm following it, though some of it seems over my head. I headed off into town. A small white feather floated down right in front of my eyes. I remember Mum saying that has something to do with the dead. Went to Lidl with the reduced 20p stickers I stole from work. Became a little more difficult to get away with my plan when it turned out the security guard was hanging around the self service check outs....and it was someone who I had worked with at Balmore Road. He came over asking how I was as I scanned the 20p barcodes, I tried to keep eye contact with him so he wouldn't look down and see what the stickers were on. The machine bleeped and said someone was coming over to check my items. Turns out the security guard can over-ride it now, he didn't even look at my items and just scanned his badge. Relieved. Went to the central train station waiting room and ate. Got a 2 litre bottle of lemonade, poured half of it down the toilet and filled it back up with some of the vodka I took from Simon's spirit cabinet. A nod to Med. Went up to the Necropolis and drunk some of it whilst looking out over Glasgow. Its just left me pretty tired though. Now sat in a bar near to where Alex is. An hour before I said I'd meet him. I can't have 2 beers in here. £5 a pop. I'll have to try to make this one last.
The Day After Vic's Birthday.
After the sleepy pints last night I went to Alex's. He gave me a lovely warm welcome, as always. The stuff he'd been working on since I met him, the art involving his homemade cut up plastic reflector things, they were in his living room looking pretty complete. He had framed them in these big circular convex mirrors. He doesn't think he'll keep them like that but they do look cool. Quite jarring the effect they play on the eyes. We caught up and then he served us up some kedgeree he had made. It had quite a spicy kick to it. Really tasty. We went to a local pub for a couple of pints. Talk of technology, nature, time. In the morning I had the spicy stuff from the kedgeree on toast. I told Alex how I had been unsuccessful in my search for a book by Carl Jung yesterday. Turns out Alex has 3 books on him and he'll happily lend me one. Funny. Synchronicity. I left his house at 8.45 am, the time I was meant to be meeting Jake. Jumped on the train then ran through the Glasgow pouring morning rain. Jake was well. He wasn't annoyed I was 25 minutes late. Lovely to see him. He told me about him and Rebecca moving into a bigger house. He's been working on a comic where a few different artists all illustrate 1 story. He showed me his page. It looked amazing.
Just boarded the bus to Leeds. Some guy has sat opposite me with a kid. The kid is very cute. Though I probably would move away from them if I didn't have headphones with me. I don't think its his kid. He's talking to it as if its an adult. Feeding it yoghurt really quickly too. The adult seems awkward. Funny. Men can be funny with kids. Worrying about awkward silences, making up shit conversation. What must kids on the receiving end think. No drink or drugs for this leg of the journey I think. Its a bit early.
The rain is making racing paths on the window of the bus. Its dark outside and warm and comfortable on here. I love it. A magical moment just now. In the window, the time said 01:5. An impossible time on a digital clock. I liked how it looked. It was 2:10. Then I realised the : was flashing gently. Glowing rhythmically. I was listening to Mogwai's song 'Heard about you last night' whilst watching it flash. They synchronised up perfectly. I watched it flash in time with the drums for a whole minute. That songs BPM must be 120 I thought. Then I looked again at the reason the time had caught my attention in the reflection anyway, 01:5. Or what it actually was, 2:10, or jumbled up...120! Ha. Beautiful. Maybe I should make a start on the Carl Jung book Alex gave to me.
Its pitch black at 4pm. Streaks of rain on all the windows surrounding the whole bus. So perfect. I'm into the vodka. After beers. Exhausted my music. A mystical ghost dogs face impossibly laughing at me in the reflection of the window on the bus. I've only eaten toast today. Could eat.
I believe I am sleeping on a hospital bed. I'm in Zelda's art room. Its mind blowing. Strange art all over the walls. A crouching mannequin with wild hair right next to my hospital bed. Me and Joe went out for some beers. Spoke of the good stuff. Perception, time, religion. I've really chosen some good mates to visit for topics such as all this to speak about. Bunsen licked me so much. A welcome. I think one of the duvets I'm sleeping under has Joe's design on it, its sold in Asda. Joe took me to see the grave of Emily Bronte after the beers tonight on the walk home.
2 Days After Vic's Birthday. 2 Days Before Mine.
Joe told me how his contract with Ridleys toys is coming to an end. They are going to start using photography on the packaging rather than Joe's lovely old school illustrations. Strange move. Its crazy how so many discounted retailers now sell those kind of toys and they totally have ripped off Joe's designs. He told me how he had a job through his agency recently to do just that. Rip himself off. Do the Ridleys style, but just a little shitter. Some company in TK Maxx or something. A lot of Zelda's art work was really good. So colourful and smooth. She gave me a lift to the station and we spoke of time too. Realised this morning I'm down to £40. I know we are going to the cinema in London. Won't be cheap. Hoping I have some money on my Oyster card. Hopefully Poole will make some food for us. Birthday in 2 days, sure my family will be giving me some money. There are 3 suns in in the sky today and this bus appears to be filling up with water drip by drip. Strange. I only heard the end of a conversation between the two passengers behind me. Something had annoyed them. I'm hoping its not me. I'm wondering what I could of done.
The Day Before My Birthday.
I've awoke on Poole's living room floor. The MegaBus arrived into London an hour late yesterday. Met Nicola in Victoria station. She looked very beautiful. Even in her Crystal Maze work clothes. She got changed in the toilets and we headed off aimlessly. We stumbled upon Westminster Cathedral. Very peaceful in there, slowly explored the place whilst finding out what each other had been up to recently. We had a coffee in the tiniest cafe then headed in the direction of the Tate. I was to meet Poole at a place called the Hole in the Wall near Waterloo. Nicola said how she hadn't seen Christian Marclay's The Clock yet so we managed to sit at the front and watch about 10 minutes of it. She loved it. On the way to it, Nicola suddenly stopped and screamed as she looked to the sky. The moon was huge and gave the effect of being just inches away from The Shard. It was quite magical. We hugged. We held hands as we raced to meet Poole. We found him, Nicola said hello but then left. He had booked me and him a table in some place that boasted of meat and jazz. Though no music was being played. A great big moving photo of Jimi Hendrix greets you at the door. 2 courses for £16, which is crazily cheap for central London prices. I loved the food. Though I was not sure what Poole thought of it with his more refined sophisticated pallet. If it was 2 courses for £16, the drinks must of been very expensive. When the bill came, Poole sort of kept it to himself though I did catch a glimpse of the total. Thom kindly offered to pay. He's too good to me. We went for a beer in some crowded place on the way to the cinema. Spoke of computer games. He had been to an exhibition about them just recently.
We watched the new Gasper Noe film. Climax. About a bunch of dancers whose party goes from great to fucking mental after somebody spikes the drinks with acid. Holy fuck. What an experience. I loved it. The Choreography, the music. What beautiful subject matter for a director such as Gasper Noe to flex his mad bastard beautiful frenetic camera styles. The acid trip. Jesus Christ. It was so well done, so well acted. An absolute nightmare. After it finished I told Thom it had maybe changed my mind about taking acid on a 9 hour bus journey the next day. He said he thinks its an awful idea anyway. He really doesn't think I should do it. Joe said the same thing actually.
We got the bus back to his and watched some YouTube videos. Poole showed me a lot of recent hip hop stuff he's been listening to. All amazing. He hadn't heard the new Edan and Homeboy Sandman tune though, he loved it. Theres a part in the video were Homeboy Sandman salutes the camera, Poole saluted back! Made me giggle. Voices passing by the room just now. 9 am. Total grey skies covering London.
Ariana has the most amazing collection of art books. I'll happily indulge until Poole awakes. Theres a copy of a book by Raymond Carver here. I remember Adam's friend Jay reading some of my little stories and telling me they reminded him of this guys. I'm reading some now. I like it. Its so cold in this house. I've made myself a coffee and put the mug on the floor so I can wrap my feet around it for warmth. Poole's still asleep. Its getting close to the time I have to leave I think. I plan on walking it to Victoria coach station. I've a couple of hours. I don't know how long it takes to walk it.
I took the acid on the coach. It feels perfect. So I have all I need. So, Poole goes to his afternoon. Half of me is younger than the other half because of the immersion in a bath for about 15 years more than the other side. This is perception. If the art depends on the surroundings that give birth to it, its in humanities best interest to create better living conditions for everyone. If i was this comfortable all the time, I'd be working at my peak. A study of synchronicity or a review of the Gasper Noe film. I smell fantastic gravy, but worry I've shit myself. My hands turning yellow. Drauszen has to do some music for rail cables. Time and space and expectations have gone crazy. A birthday present to yourself. Its exactly what you wanted. Mirrors. Rail cables is a mirror. Harv. Life backwards from this moment on. A mirror. So what will time do? The girl you sat next to is visiting her sister. Time travel. Harv is a mystic. Rail cables is the ever flowing current on the other side of the reflection.
Ask Thom to write from his perspective. On all of it. But pretending he's heard news of it all. Tell him not to act. Just be completely honest. Came to meet Harv on his own terms. No electronic communication for days. Just physical except music is allowed. Mud is growing all over me. Thats why they all struggled with their reflection Thom! Realising absolutely everything is a mirror! As long as you've not shit yourself. Shit yourself. A young lady had to sit next to me a few hours when I thought all the seats around me were arses over bicycle seats. Big arses. Big buttocks.
A chat up line: You probably get this all the time, but I've just got off a 9 hour MegaBus journey after taking acid and I felt time stopped for my perception of myself and now everything is in a rear view mirror for the rest of my life. The water bottle on the seat next to me is a dying begging small African child. I've forgotten the point of anything. The ghost of John Bland sat opposite me. Or was it Richard? Glad I didn't attempt a shit on this bus. We need to leave Preston now. Reanimate John Bland. I need to get home to my family. The letter C.
I jumped off the bus at Preston figuring the train station is nearer here than it is in Lancaster, so I'm sat waiting for a train to Glasgow. Hoping I won't get checked for a ticket. I ran around Preston lost, asking others to tell me where to go. I realise the errors of my ways. Of all the styles of architecture I could possibly see from inside and out right now I am shown brutalism. A birthday present to myself. A mirror. I sit at Preston train station. The platforms are moving in different directions. Interesting. I recognise the faces of all the people coming off the train. Everything remains a kaleidoscope. Just left Lancaster. Disco music playing as I reach into my hair gathering dandruff flakes. Positively raining. I pass the ghost of my dads old shop. Cane furniture. The mud all over me is now ink.
My Birthday.
Just after midnight. Beth and Lewis were picking up Charlie from Mum and Dads when it happened to be midnight, so they all sung me happy birthday. So lovely to see everyone, though I couldn't hide the trip from Mum and Dad. I told them I was still so high and the faces on the telly were scaring the shit out of me. Everybody's faces were so spiky, even Mum and Dads. Dad played me a Leonard Cohen song about suicide. It was a lovely moment. Me, Mum and Dad just sat in silence listening. Dad said it had made him cry a couple of days earlier. Mum had found him in tears. Charlie now has an Instagram page. I laughed saying I bet he'll have more followers than Rail Cables already, very funny finding out he actually does. Beth will have lots of fun coming up with the silly captions for the photos. Very cool. Still completely tripping. Saw an owl on the way home. With the lights off its actually darker with my eyes open than with them shut?! When I shut them I can see mad flashing colours. Is it possible to sleep with your eyes open?
Awoke about 10am. I had the Xanax Dan had prescribed to me in case the acid kept me up. Woke up to an empty house. Surprised to find it hard to balance when I stood up.
Me and Mum went to visit Grandma. My head still slightly buzzy. Had a coffee and a maple and pecan slice. They were from Morrisons. Mum prefers the ones from Asda. I told Grandma about seeing an owl. She told me a story about when she was younger. The outside toilet having a ledge just near it where you could see an owl sat every night. The owl had 3 children and Grandma remembers all 4 of them sitting making eye contact with Grandma when she was on the toilet. Funny. It also reminded her of the visitor she used to have in her garden just after Grandad had died, a beautiful peacock. She laughed telling us how at the time she told her neighbour how Grandad had always wanted a peacock suit and it got her thinking about reincarnation.
On the way back I asked Mum to stop off at Asda so I could get Vic's birthday present. I couldn't be bothered seeing anyone I knew though so I asked Mum if she would go in. Mum had left the radio tuned to Radio X. If I had my phone I would of put some music on but as I didn't have it I just listened to this. An Arctic Monkeys track finished and then the presenter announced 'So a big hello to Vicky and Adrian who are taking Dylan and Matthew to football in Morecambe just now!' Very cool.
Dad just got back from work and told us the moon looks amazing tonight. Come to think of it, Nicola did tell me it was to be a full moon on my birthday. I ran down to Vicarage to see if I could see it. The edges along the top of a thick cloud were glowing white, so I must of just missed it. Waited a while to see if it was going to reappear but it was freezing. I headed back in. We had roast chicken for tea. It was so tasty. I knocked over a bowl of gravy. Mum said 'See! This is what acid can do to you!' Funny.
Went round to Vic's tonight. We all tried watching some spooky new Jack Black film but I think the boys were a little scared. I thought it looked pretty scary. We turned it off and put compilations of Vines on. Was lovely seeing them all. Home now sat in the kitchen looking through photos of the fat hairy bikers whilst eating salami and crisps sandwiches like old times.
The Day After My Birthday.
Spoke to Med for an hour on the home phone this morning. He'd just been to the cafe in Morrisons for a tea with his cousin. I tried to look into a last minute trip to meet him tomorrow but it will be too expensive. Had a lovely lazy afternoon watching a football match on telly with me and Dad talking rubbish. Popped round to play cards with Vic and Matthew. Had some pretty good beginners luck. Won a few games. Chinese take-away for tea then heading to Harv's.
2 Days After My Birthday.
Mum and Dad gave me a lift to Harv and Jo's last night. I was welcomed at the door by Bessie. Her and Harv turned the lights off and gave me a birthday icing cake with a candle in it and a homemade card. Jo took Bess off to bed whilst Harv started feeding me whiskey. We listened to Harry Partch and spoke of the significance of certain birds in the ways of superstition. It was so lovely catching up with them both. I got really quite drunk and fell asleep. I'm awful when it comes to whiskey. Harv left me downstairs but made sure all the lights led me to the room they had set up for me if I awoke wanting a bed. Got up about 10am, worried I'd left this book out somewhere where Bess would find it, but it happened to be next to me with a quarter of the iced bun left on it. Headed downstairs and they had saved me a sausage to have with some toast for breakfast. Bess drew on some massive paper. A religious scene with soldiers near a castle, crosses all around and stars and the moon visible at the top of the page. Harv and Bess headed off fishing. Me and Jo slowly walked it to the train station talking of their friend Wes, Ewan, suicide, Brexit. A really lovely slow walk. We hugged goodbye and I got my train.
Just seen Dan now. He's well. A little hungover from last night too. I said I was rough from all the whiskey. He asked if I needed any drugs to calm me down! I said I'm going to have a good few days off everything for a while now. Though we'll see. Back in work tomorrow, so theres the possibility of cans on the bus home. Haaa. Think I'll turn my phone back on now.
Vic's Birthday 2018.
I set off this morning at 1.45 am. The Megabus up to Glasgow goes from the centre of Manchester at 5 am but there was no buses running that early from my house into the centre, so I decided I would start the whole trip off by walking the 7 miles in the middle of the night. The idea for this week off work is to have no phone the whole time, but the idea of having no music scared me. So I loaded up an old iPhone with music. It can't do anything but serve as an MP3 player. I listened to Harv's new collection but then realised I needed to be rid of even the headphones to try to take my mind back to an earlier state of being.
After walking with the silence a while, there was a dead black cat in my path. I jumped when I realised what it was. I said fuck out loud a few times and for some reason put my hands to my chest. It must of just died. No blood at all though. It looked like it was just sleeping. I couldn't pick it up. It scares me, the idea of the flesh still warm under its fur. It got me thinking about superstition. I've given up worrying about that these last few years. Mainly for 2 reasons. The first being what I told Vic recently, to see a singular magpie is considered lucky in some parts of the world. The second reason is that, every time in my life recently when I've seen a superstitious bad omen it has lead to interesting things happening. The time I walked through Newcastle to meet Med, I kept seeing single magpies. Then that night I set my leg on fire. I now look back at that whole couple of months as one of the most interesting things to have happened to me in the last 5 years.
I bought a burger on the way to the coach this morning. A 24 hour McDonalds. In there about 3 am. The burger was ridiculous. It slipped out the bun as I tried to eat it. Everything did. Like tectonic plates shifting between my hands. All matter transforming as I struggle to retain any decorum involved with walking whilst eating. The only people I was passing were homeless people sleeping rough. I counted 18 of them from the McDonalds on Oxford Road to Shudehill bus station. I counted 3 rats too. I feel like Grandma. She counts how many steps she walks up wherever she goes. Then she used to test the boys on it. See if they'd counted. I don't know if she tests them anymore. Strange the things I'm doing now I've turned my music off. Counting things.
I got on the MegaBus to Glasgow. 4 Hours 20 minutes. I was glad of it being so warm. I fell straight asleep. I hadn't slept the night before. I'd taken half a tab of acid as Harv had sent me through his music. I thought it would be suitable for the first listen. The acid didn't seem to do much except for give me such bad shits and keep me awake all night. No sleep at all. I wanted hallucinations. Dan says I'd probably have to take a whole one for that. I'd bought the acid for this weeks journey. I love waking up on a moving vehicle. Especially around sunrise. I did that just as we were passing Carlisle. Beautiful. The first morning light shining through the clouds. I arrive about 10 am to a very cloudy grey Glasgow.
I've about 10 hours to kill before meeting up with Alex. So I just started walking. I wondered what I was doing a bit. It annoys me that I thought I could construct interesting ideas but then by the time I'm sat with pen and paper I never seem to be able to put them into words. I walked up to near where I lived recently, followed the Clyde a while and then ended up in the Morrisons cafe in Partick. I've got a coffee thats so cold I might just have to down it. I feel I should go on the hunt for a book by Carl Jung. I am near to the Oxfam book shop in the West End. To there I go.
They had no Jung so I got Ulysses. I've come to the library and started it. I'm following it, though some of it seems over my head. I headed off into town. A small white feather floated down right in front of my eyes. I remember Mum saying that has something to do with the dead. Went to Lidl with the reduced 20p stickers I stole from work. Became a little more difficult to get away with my plan when it turned out the security guard was hanging around the self service check outs....and it was someone who I had worked with at Balmore Road. He came over asking how I was as I scanned the 20p barcodes, I tried to keep eye contact with him so he wouldn't look down and see what the stickers were on. The machine bleeped and said someone was coming over to check my items. Turns out the security guard can over-ride it now, he didn't even look at my items and just scanned his badge. Relieved. Went to the central train station waiting room and ate. Got a 2 litre bottle of lemonade, poured half of it down the toilet and filled it back up with some of the vodka I took from Simon's spirit cabinet. A nod to Med. Went up to the Necropolis and drunk some of it whilst looking out over Glasgow. Its just left me pretty tired though. Now sat in a bar near to where Alex is. An hour before I said I'd meet him. I can't have 2 beers in here. £5 a pop. I'll have to try to make this one last.
The Day After Vic's Birthday.
After the sleepy pints last night I went to Alex's. He gave me a lovely warm welcome, as always. The stuff he'd been working on since I met him, the art involving his homemade cut up plastic reflector things, they were in his living room looking pretty complete. He had framed them in these big circular convex mirrors. He doesn't think he'll keep them like that but they do look cool. Quite jarring the effect they play on the eyes. We caught up and then he served us up some kedgeree he had made. It had quite a spicy kick to it. Really tasty. We went to a local pub for a couple of pints. Talk of technology, nature, time. In the morning I had the spicy stuff from the kedgeree on toast. I told Alex how I had been unsuccessful in my search for a book by Carl Jung yesterday. Turns out Alex has 3 books on him and he'll happily lend me one. Funny. Synchronicity. I left his house at 8.45 am, the time I was meant to be meeting Jake. Jumped on the train then ran through the Glasgow pouring morning rain. Jake was well. He wasn't annoyed I was 25 minutes late. Lovely to see him. He told me about him and Rebecca moving into a bigger house. He's been working on a comic where a few different artists all illustrate 1 story. He showed me his page. It looked amazing.
Just boarded the bus to Leeds. Some guy has sat opposite me with a kid. The kid is very cute. Though I probably would move away from them if I didn't have headphones with me. I don't think its his kid. He's talking to it as if its an adult. Feeding it yoghurt really quickly too. The adult seems awkward. Funny. Men can be funny with kids. Worrying about awkward silences, making up shit conversation. What must kids on the receiving end think. No drink or drugs for this leg of the journey I think. Its a bit early.
The rain is making racing paths on the window of the bus. Its dark outside and warm and comfortable on here. I love it. A magical moment just now. In the window, the time said 01:5. An impossible time on a digital clock. I liked how it looked. It was 2:10. Then I realised the : was flashing gently. Glowing rhythmically. I was listening to Mogwai's song 'Heard about you last night' whilst watching it flash. They synchronised up perfectly. I watched it flash in time with the drums for a whole minute. That songs BPM must be 120 I thought. Then I looked again at the reason the time had caught my attention in the reflection anyway, 01:5. Or what it actually was, 2:10, or jumbled up...120! Ha. Beautiful. Maybe I should make a start on the Carl Jung book Alex gave to me.
Its pitch black at 4pm. Streaks of rain on all the windows surrounding the whole bus. So perfect. I'm into the vodka. After beers. Exhausted my music. A mystical ghost dogs face impossibly laughing at me in the reflection of the window on the bus. I've only eaten toast today. Could eat.
I believe I am sleeping on a hospital bed. I'm in Zelda's art room. Its mind blowing. Strange art all over the walls. A crouching mannequin with wild hair right next to my hospital bed. Me and Joe went out for some beers. Spoke of the good stuff. Perception, time, religion. I've really chosen some good mates to visit for topics such as all this to speak about. Bunsen licked me so much. A welcome. I think one of the duvets I'm sleeping under has Joe's design on it, its sold in Asda. Joe took me to see the grave of Emily Bronte after the beers tonight on the walk home.
2 Days After Vic's Birthday. 2 Days Before Mine.
Joe told me how his contract with Ridleys toys is coming to an end. They are going to start using photography on the packaging rather than Joe's lovely old school illustrations. Strange move. Its crazy how so many discounted retailers now sell those kind of toys and they totally have ripped off Joe's designs. He told me how he had a job through his agency recently to do just that. Rip himself off. Do the Ridleys style, but just a little shitter. Some company in TK Maxx or something. A lot of Zelda's art work was really good. So colourful and smooth. She gave me a lift to the station and we spoke of time too. Realised this morning I'm down to £40. I know we are going to the cinema in London. Won't be cheap. Hoping I have some money on my Oyster card. Hopefully Poole will make some food for us. Birthday in 2 days, sure my family will be giving me some money. There are 3 suns in in the sky today and this bus appears to be filling up with water drip by drip. Strange. I only heard the end of a conversation between the two passengers behind me. Something had annoyed them. I'm hoping its not me. I'm wondering what I could of done.
The Day Before My Birthday.
I've awoke on Poole's living room floor. The MegaBus arrived into London an hour late yesterday. Met Nicola in Victoria station. She looked very beautiful. Even in her Crystal Maze work clothes. She got changed in the toilets and we headed off aimlessly. We stumbled upon Westminster Cathedral. Very peaceful in there, slowly explored the place whilst finding out what each other had been up to recently. We had a coffee in the tiniest cafe then headed in the direction of the Tate. I was to meet Poole at a place called the Hole in the Wall near Waterloo. Nicola said how she hadn't seen Christian Marclay's The Clock yet so we managed to sit at the front and watch about 10 minutes of it. She loved it. On the way to it, Nicola suddenly stopped and screamed as she looked to the sky. The moon was huge and gave the effect of being just inches away from The Shard. It was quite magical. We hugged. We held hands as we raced to meet Poole. We found him, Nicola said hello but then left. He had booked me and him a table in some place that boasted of meat and jazz. Though no music was being played. A great big moving photo of Jimi Hendrix greets you at the door. 2 courses for £16, which is crazily cheap for central London prices. I loved the food. Though I was not sure what Poole thought of it with his more refined sophisticated pallet. If it was 2 courses for £16, the drinks must of been very expensive. When the bill came, Poole sort of kept it to himself though I did catch a glimpse of the total. Thom kindly offered to pay. He's too good to me. We went for a beer in some crowded place on the way to the cinema. Spoke of computer games. He had been to an exhibition about them just recently.
We watched the new Gasper Noe film. Climax. About a bunch of dancers whose party goes from great to fucking mental after somebody spikes the drinks with acid. Holy fuck. What an experience. I loved it. The Choreography, the music. What beautiful subject matter for a director such as Gasper Noe to flex his mad bastard beautiful frenetic camera styles. The acid trip. Jesus Christ. It was so well done, so well acted. An absolute nightmare. After it finished I told Thom it had maybe changed my mind about taking acid on a 9 hour bus journey the next day. He said he thinks its an awful idea anyway. He really doesn't think I should do it. Joe said the same thing actually.
We got the bus back to his and watched some YouTube videos. Poole showed me a lot of recent hip hop stuff he's been listening to. All amazing. He hadn't heard the new Edan and Homeboy Sandman tune though, he loved it. Theres a part in the video were Homeboy Sandman salutes the camera, Poole saluted back! Made me giggle. Voices passing by the room just now. 9 am. Total grey skies covering London.
Ariana has the most amazing collection of art books. I'll happily indulge until Poole awakes. Theres a copy of a book by Raymond Carver here. I remember Adam's friend Jay reading some of my little stories and telling me they reminded him of this guys. I'm reading some now. I like it. Its so cold in this house. I've made myself a coffee and put the mug on the floor so I can wrap my feet around it for warmth. Poole's still asleep. Its getting close to the time I have to leave I think. I plan on walking it to Victoria coach station. I've a couple of hours. I don't know how long it takes to walk it.
I took the acid on the coach. It feels perfect. So I have all I need. So, Poole goes to his afternoon. Half of me is younger than the other half because of the immersion in a bath for about 15 years more than the other side. This is perception. If the art depends on the surroundings that give birth to it, its in humanities best interest to create better living conditions for everyone. If i was this comfortable all the time, I'd be working at my peak. A study of synchronicity or a review of the Gasper Noe film. I smell fantastic gravy, but worry I've shit myself. My hands turning yellow. Drauszen has to do some music for rail cables. Time and space and expectations have gone crazy. A birthday present to yourself. Its exactly what you wanted. Mirrors. Rail cables is a mirror. Harv. Life backwards from this moment on. A mirror. So what will time do? The girl you sat next to is visiting her sister. Time travel. Harv is a mystic. Rail cables is the ever flowing current on the other side of the reflection.
Ask Thom to write from his perspective. On all of it. But pretending he's heard news of it all. Tell him not to act. Just be completely honest. Came to meet Harv on his own terms. No electronic communication for days. Just physical except music is allowed. Mud is growing all over me. Thats why they all struggled with their reflection Thom! Realising absolutely everything is a mirror! As long as you've not shit yourself. Shit yourself. A young lady had to sit next to me a few hours when I thought all the seats around me were arses over bicycle seats. Big arses. Big buttocks.
A chat up line: You probably get this all the time, but I've just got off a 9 hour MegaBus journey after taking acid and I felt time stopped for my perception of myself and now everything is in a rear view mirror for the rest of my life. The water bottle on the seat next to me is a dying begging small African child. I've forgotten the point of anything. The ghost of John Bland sat opposite me. Or was it Richard? Glad I didn't attempt a shit on this bus. We need to leave Preston now. Reanimate John Bland. I need to get home to my family. The letter C.
I jumped off the bus at Preston figuring the train station is nearer here than it is in Lancaster, so I'm sat waiting for a train to Glasgow. Hoping I won't get checked for a ticket. I ran around Preston lost, asking others to tell me where to go. I realise the errors of my ways. Of all the styles of architecture I could possibly see from inside and out right now I am shown brutalism. A birthday present to myself. A mirror. I sit at Preston train station. The platforms are moving in different directions. Interesting. I recognise the faces of all the people coming off the train. Everything remains a kaleidoscope. Just left Lancaster. Disco music playing as I reach into my hair gathering dandruff flakes. Positively raining. I pass the ghost of my dads old shop. Cane furniture. The mud all over me is now ink.
My Birthday.
Just after midnight. Beth and Lewis were picking up Charlie from Mum and Dads when it happened to be midnight, so they all sung me happy birthday. So lovely to see everyone, though I couldn't hide the trip from Mum and Dad. I told them I was still so high and the faces on the telly were scaring the shit out of me. Everybody's faces were so spiky, even Mum and Dads. Dad played me a Leonard Cohen song about suicide. It was a lovely moment. Me, Mum and Dad just sat in silence listening. Dad said it had made him cry a couple of days earlier. Mum had found him in tears. Charlie now has an Instagram page. I laughed saying I bet he'll have more followers than Rail Cables already, very funny finding out he actually does. Beth will have lots of fun coming up with the silly captions for the photos. Very cool. Still completely tripping. Saw an owl on the way home. With the lights off its actually darker with my eyes open than with them shut?! When I shut them I can see mad flashing colours. Is it possible to sleep with your eyes open?
Awoke about 10am. I had the Xanax Dan had prescribed to me in case the acid kept me up. Woke up to an empty house. Surprised to find it hard to balance when I stood up.
Me and Mum went to visit Grandma. My head still slightly buzzy. Had a coffee and a maple and pecan slice. They were from Morrisons. Mum prefers the ones from Asda. I told Grandma about seeing an owl. She told me a story about when she was younger. The outside toilet having a ledge just near it where you could see an owl sat every night. The owl had 3 children and Grandma remembers all 4 of them sitting making eye contact with Grandma when she was on the toilet. Funny. It also reminded her of the visitor she used to have in her garden just after Grandad had died, a beautiful peacock. She laughed telling us how at the time she told her neighbour how Grandad had always wanted a peacock suit and it got her thinking about reincarnation.
On the way back I asked Mum to stop off at Asda so I could get Vic's birthday present. I couldn't be bothered seeing anyone I knew though so I asked Mum if she would go in. Mum had left the radio tuned to Radio X. If I had my phone I would of put some music on but as I didn't have it I just listened to this. An Arctic Monkeys track finished and then the presenter announced 'So a big hello to Vicky and Adrian who are taking Dylan and Matthew to football in Morecambe just now!' Very cool.
Dad just got back from work and told us the moon looks amazing tonight. Come to think of it, Nicola did tell me it was to be a full moon on my birthday. I ran down to Vicarage to see if I could see it. The edges along the top of a thick cloud were glowing white, so I must of just missed it. Waited a while to see if it was going to reappear but it was freezing. I headed back in. We had roast chicken for tea. It was so tasty. I knocked over a bowl of gravy. Mum said 'See! This is what acid can do to you!' Funny.
Went round to Vic's tonight. We all tried watching some spooky new Jack Black film but I think the boys were a little scared. I thought it looked pretty scary. We turned it off and put compilations of Vines on. Was lovely seeing them all. Home now sat in the kitchen looking through photos of the fat hairy bikers whilst eating salami and crisps sandwiches like old times.
The Day After My Birthday.
Spoke to Med for an hour on the home phone this morning. He'd just been to the cafe in Morrisons for a tea with his cousin. I tried to look into a last minute trip to meet him tomorrow but it will be too expensive. Had a lovely lazy afternoon watching a football match on telly with me and Dad talking rubbish. Popped round to play cards with Vic and Matthew. Had some pretty good beginners luck. Won a few games. Chinese take-away for tea then heading to Harv's.
2 Days After My Birthday.
Mum and Dad gave me a lift to Harv and Jo's last night. I was welcomed at the door by Bessie. Her and Harv turned the lights off and gave me a birthday icing cake with a candle in it and a homemade card. Jo took Bess off to bed whilst Harv started feeding me whiskey. We listened to Harry Partch and spoke of the significance of certain birds in the ways of superstition. It was so lovely catching up with them both. I got really quite drunk and fell asleep. I'm awful when it comes to whiskey. Harv left me downstairs but made sure all the lights led me to the room they had set up for me if I awoke wanting a bed. Got up about 10am, worried I'd left this book out somewhere where Bess would find it, but it happened to be next to me with a quarter of the iced bun left on it. Headed downstairs and they had saved me a sausage to have with some toast for breakfast. Bess drew on some massive paper. A religious scene with soldiers near a castle, crosses all around and stars and the moon visible at the top of the page. Harv and Bess headed off fishing. Me and Jo slowly walked it to the train station talking of their friend Wes, Ewan, suicide, Brexit. A really lovely slow walk. We hugged goodbye and I got my train.
Just seen Dan now. He's well. A little hungover from last night too. I said I was rough from all the whiskey. He asked if I needed any drugs to calm me down! I said I'm going to have a good few days off everything for a while now. Though we'll see. Back in work tomorrow, so theres the possibility of cans on the bus home. Haaa. Think I'll turn my phone back on now.
